Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
