I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize