Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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