Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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