Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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