I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
