I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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