just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
