And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Farmville is her only friend.
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the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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