Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
