Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
