Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
