Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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