I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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