I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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