We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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