I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
