remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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