she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
