I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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