I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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