Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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