nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
