I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
