either way he was missing a nipple.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
