There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
