Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
