How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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