apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
