What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
