I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
