think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
