sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
