You really coming over, don't trick.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
