I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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