my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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