I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
