these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it hurts more in the daytime
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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