So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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