I just made out with a guy for $7.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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