The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize