I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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