Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Randomize
