Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
