It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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