I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
