Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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