Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
