She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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