I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it hurts more in the daytime
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
