just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize