piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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