your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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