It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
