I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
