apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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