I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Randomize
