So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
