i think my mom watched the whole time
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
