someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We had sex on a dog bed..
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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