Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
