And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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