you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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