Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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