Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
