in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
