If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
